


[s] pester dirk;

by gods_among_us (orphan_account)



Category: yeet - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 14:32:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11292618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/gods_among_us
Summary: putting your pesterchum on private did wonders to shut them all up.(lmao jk no it didnt)((pls dont read this as a stand alone this is extra bitsies for my word of mouth fic))





	1. Chapter 1

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT].

TG: hey dirky   
TG: janey is setting up 4 her pool party and liek    
TG: like*   
TG: she would rly like for u to b here    
TG: like a lot   
TG: ik we arent on v good terms but like   
TG: could u maybe do it for janey??   
TG: because shes rly rly rly super upset abt u man like    
TG: ur one of her best friends 5ever ya know?    
TG: we were the crew    
TG: and i think we can even get jakey to come around if the two of u just talk it out    
TG: listen dirk we have been thru 2 much 2gether to just let you lock urself up for the rest of your life. like.    
TG: u mean a lot to us    
TG: ur always gonna be one of us even if u dont think u are    
TG: i miss u    
TG: jane missues u    
TG: misses*   
TG: i think jake misses u a lil too    
TG: i dont think u 2 will ever get back together but like    
TG: idk    
TG: i just though you might wanna hang out with him again since he was ur best bro    
TG: u guys had a bond that was so insanely 4 realsies you know what im sayin?    
TG: like you dont just pass up ur best friend in the whole world after a lil mistake    
TG: like    
TG: neither of u were ready for that relationship    
TG: it was kinda bs with the game and candyland too like u know what im saying here    
TG: it probably coulda gone better if things didnt wind up like they did    
TG: u dig?    
TG: well anyways    
TG: janey’s gonna spike the lemonade w/ vodka and you know ya girl is gonna be in on that    
TG: i have a handle on drinking now tho so dont worry about me!!!!    
TG: im fine i have only had like one glass and i have a 2 drink limit bc i like being safe    
TG: like i was so hungover when i flipped shit @ u if u were wondering i wasnt rly in my right mind   
TG: also sorry about that btw    
TG: i was rly upset and i know i can’t ungay u lmao    
TG: so like    
TG: yeah   
TG: we gucci    
TG: anyways we rly want you here pls come.    
TG: ily dirky    
TG: and so does janey!!    
TG: heres some lov from ur fave girls    
TG: jane is givin u a smile and a lil wave    
TG: shes so cute    
TG: good and pure janey    
TG: but ye the party starts in an hour and i hijacked some of daves swimshit for you to wear if you wanna    
TG: i have a speedo 2   
TG: wink wonk    
TG: will u be able to hide the entirety of ur donger in the speedo??    
TG: idk come over and find over    
TG: ok janey needs me 2 help her with the snacks    
TG: pls hmu if ur coming so i can be sure to pick up extra doritos for ur fat ass    
TG: kisses (; 

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT].


	2. Chapter 2

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling timaeusTestified [TT].

CG: YO, STRIDER.    
CG: ARE YOU OKAY, DUDE? JAKE CAME OVER TO PLAY TOMB RAIDER TODAY AND WE HAD A TALK ABOUT YOU.    
CG: I WON’T LIE AND SAY IT WAS ALL GOOD THINGS.    
CG: HE’S PISSED AT YOU FOR BLOWING HIM OFF, THOUGH. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?    
CG: MESSAGE ME BACK SOMETIME. I DON’T KNOW IF HE’LL BITE TO RESCHEDULE, BUT WE CAN TRY.    
CG: STOP BARRICADING YOURSELF IN, AND START GETTING BACK OUT THERE.    
CG: TALK TO YOU LATER.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling timaeusTestified [TT].


	3. Chapter 3

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT].

TG: dirk   
TG: dude   
TG: what the fuck is your damage   
TG: youre being such a shut in dickface i dont even know where to begin to tell you youre absolutely in the wrong here   
TG: first you go off and fuck with john   
TG: and then you just ditch him entirely   
TG: and i told him   
TG: i swear to fucking god dirk i told him that you werent gonna stick around for him but he wanted to believe the best in you because hes such a good fucking guy okay   
TG: and then you go and hurt him   
TG: like  
TG: what the fuck   
TG: and you ignore jane   
TG: youre killing her and roxy   
TG: karkat is pulling his hair out  
TG: karkat just wants to move in with terezi and forget about you and our human romance problems holy shit  
TG: you wont let the poor guy rest he really cares about you and just dont even listen to him when he gives you what you ask for   
TG: listen man i know we dont hang out like at all but   
TG: youre being a huge fucking asshole and i really dont like you treating my friends like that   
TG: especially john  
TG: hes vulnerable right now and you took advantage of him to smash and then abandon ship   
TG: thanks for making john choose you over me and then ditching   
TG: asshole  
TG: here i go picking up all your fucking slack again   
TG: its just like when i was a kid you know  
TG: goddamn  
TG: im gonna come over and beat your ass into the fucking dust   
TG: you have no fucking idea how much of a dick youre being   
TG: and roxy can cry and cry and cry about your mental illnesses but that doesnt mean you can do whatever you want to people who care about you  
TG: i dont care how fucked up you are   
TG: youre still a horrible person and you know it   
TG: god   
TG: shape your shit up because right now youre as much of a man as a damp tampon is

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT].


	4. Chapter 4

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT].

TT: Dirk.    
TT: Hello.    
TT: I was thinking about you told me earlier-- at John’s, I’m sure you recall-- and I want to thank you for saying those things.    
TT: For as ass-backwards and unhelpful as the sentiment sounded, it is actually quite helpful in trying to get over this.    
TT: You’re not as ignorant as my knowledge of your background would suggest you to be. Thank you.    
TT: I’m open for discussion if you’d like to have words on the subject; of course, the subject being our society’s inherent handling of topics like divorce or split-ups, and how we can make strives to take away those negative connotation.    
TT: Sometimes people don’t work, and breaking up is not always a bad thing.    
TT: But I won’t bore you with much more rambling. Message me at a later date and I’ll be sure to respond. Take care of yourself, dear. 

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT].


	5. Chapter 5

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling timaeusTestified [TT].

AG: Dirk, you fucking 8ULGESUCKER!!!!!!!!   
AG: One thing, I tell you to do one fucking thing, and you go off and COMPLETELY 8r8 John’s HEART!!!!!!!!   
AG: You haven’t s8 a word to him in WEEKS and he’s not taking it l8ly!!   
AG: Lightly, not l8ly. UGH!    
AG: I am going to fucking RUIN you, Strider, I told you not test me 8ut apparently you wanted school to 8e in session!!   
AG: Expect the worst, fuckface.    
AG: I promised I’d castr8 you, and I do not go 8ack on promises. 

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling timaeusTestified [TT].


End file.
